7 Quotes to Ignite Your Confidence

Hello my new year babies,

2018 is nearly over. Looking back over the year, I really can’t complain. I’m healthy, safe, and happy (at least most of the time), and I continue to be blessed beyond reason or measure. That being said, as I’ve acknowledged before, my life is in an interesting state of flux. I’d say I’m definitely pretty clear on where I want to be, but it appears I have a ways to go to get there. Often, when I can see an opportunity on the horizon, I have this fire-feeling of, I’d be so good for this! You have no idea! I just need someone to let me in the door! Which brings me back to this month’s topic, confidence.

This year I found a sense of confidence in myself that I didn’t have before. It looks and feels different than I imagined it would. Our culture is an intensely visual one, and so I often think of confidence in image. A woman standing gloriously in her power, oozing Beyoncé “***Flawless” energy. Don’t get me wrong; I think images like that, especially when they showcase the actual, beautiful diversity of our world, are incredibly valuable. But for me, confidence has been a quiet, stable, private thing. It’s a foundation from which I can more easily take on challenges . A sense that I am worthy and capable of doing things well, and perhaps more importantly, that I will also be okay if things don’t go well.

Sometimes, when I put myself out there, and things don’t play out the way I hoped, I can hear the echo of how I would have reacted in the past. Why are you so awkward? You should have said this/done that. If only you were better/cooler/prettier… But generally speaking, I don’t feel or think that way anymore. I know my worth. And I also understand that life is complicated, and particularly in situations that involve other humans, placing blame is rarely a helpful or accurate way of interpreting things. Besides, if you showed up and did your best, what more could you really ask for?

I hope this new year brings you confidence. Both the flashy, sparkly kind, but also the type that will carry you through your most difficult trials. The quotes below by seven fabulous women are there to light your way.

xoxo

Marie

“Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.” – Marie Curie

“Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.” – Golda Meir

“You are revolutionary. You have amazing ideas. You have the ability to create, to change, to solve, and to influence. Don’t sell yourself short by not spending your time, energy, and money on creating the best version of yourself.” – Lilly Singh

“As long as you keep going, you’ll keep getting better. And as you get better, you gain more confidence. That alone is success.” – Tamara Taylor

“Just believe in yourself. Even if you don’t, pretend that you do and, at some point, you will.” – Venus Williams

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson

“I am my inspiration.” – Lizzo*

*This one is actually a song lyric from my confidence queen, Lizzo. Worth a listen (or fifty).

“Acting As If…”: Inspiration from Body Confidence Queen Michelle Elman

Hello, my computer cuties!

A couple of weeks ago, I was watching YouTube (as I often do), and I came across a video that really inspired me. It was by Michelle Elman, a body confidence coach who is perhaps best known for her two very popular Instagram accounts (@bodypositivememes & @scarrednotscared). She also has a YouTube channel, where she discusses everything from body positivity to therapy to dating. In this particular video, she talks about how to build up your confidence.

Self-confidence is something I’ve thought a lot about in my own life this year, and I feel like I’ve reached a personal turning point. I have built a foundation of confidence that I didn’t quite have befeore. But there was one concept she explained in the video that put to words something I’d thought about before but never been able to succinctly articulate. The idea is “acting as if,” or acting as if the things you want to be true already are. As Michelle explains, it’s a different take on the commonly-used phrase “fake it till you make it.” Watch the video below to hear her explain it more fully: 

I think the reason this idea resonated so strongly with me at this moment in time is that a lot of the pieces of my life feel like they’re in flux right now.  I’m not quite where I want to be, nor am I content staying where I’ve been. I’m on the move, so to speak, and that’s a good thing. But of course, uncertainty and putting yourself out there can be a little scary, to say the least. 

What I struggle with sometimes is not knowing right away how things are going to turn out. Patience may be a virtue, but it’s never been one of my strengths. Some things I can be more zen about than others. I have wholly accepted that writing a book is a long-distance journey, mostly uphill (but one that I can take in my PJs, so that’s cool). Plus, I keep in mind what Cheryl Strayed, my favorite author, said in a letter to her younger self: “Your book has a birthday. You don’t know what it is yet.” 

The arena where I struggle with this the most is dating (perhaps unsurprisingly, it’s also the topic I’ve written least about). If writing a book is a mostly straight, uphill path, then dating is a multi-level obstacle course, where you learn the rules as you go. One day you’re blushing from a text you’ll read more than once, and another you’re trying to crack the code on what when wrong. It’s a lot. I know it’s worth it, but it’s a lot.

And since dating is an area of my life that feels less in my control—not to say I don’t have a say, but relationships are dependent upon not only the other person, but a lot of things that are hard to articulate—being patient is harder. I’m ready already. It’s not even so much that I need to start the chapter of building a relationship with my life partner right now, I just need to know that it’s coming. I don’t even need to know the birthdate, I just want to know that it exists. So maybe I can chill out a little bit. 

That’s where Michelle’s words struck me. I’ve thought a lot before about how I would act if I did know.  Would I relax a little more? Embrace this chapter of my life as not limbo or purgatory, but a wholly worthychapter of its own? Because honestly, it really isn’t a bad one at all. Sure,there are a lot of loose ends in my life that I’m attempting to string up, but all in all, I’m happy. Like today, for example. I am in my oversized Cookie Monster shirt and favorite PJ pants,and I probably won’t change unless I decide to venture out to Whole Foods (one of my favorite treat-yourself places). I am in the pink office I designed exactly for myself, and I’m chipping away at my goals. I’ve reached a point in my life where I recognize how much I enjoy my own company. I may not know exactly where the various paths of my life will lead, but I’m choosing to move boldly forward on them anyway, and that’s what matters.

So I am going to write Michelle’s advice on my heart. I am going to “act as if” the future I imagine already exists, I just haven’t arrived yet. And with that, I’m going to make more of an effort to enjoy the journey. When I was a 17-year-old who was just beginning to write and working her first job at Panera. I remember looking at my little aproned reflection in the bakery window and thinking how very few people knew all that I envisioned doing someday. I felt the excitment of what it would be like, as those dreams began to come true, to look back at that moment when everything was just beginning, and I was simply a bagel-slicing teenager with a lot of hope and confidence. I was happy in the now because I had faith in the future. As we head into 2019, I wish that sense of happiness and faith for me and for you. 

Actually, I don’t just wish it. I believe in it. 

xoxo

Marie

Ten Years

Hello, my Internet angel babies,

My ten-year high school reunion is happening this month. In one sense, it’s kind of crazy to think about that amount of time passing. Ten years ago, the Obamas had yet to move into the White House, Taylor Swift had only released one album and was still considered a country artist (“Teardrops on My Guitar” forever!), and neither Instagram nor Snapchat existed.

In the scheme of my own life, though, it’s easy for me to accept that a decade has passed. I used to think it felt like I’ve gotten to live multiple lives in this one, but I think it’s more accurate to say that the different phases of my life have felt like distinct chapters, boookmarked by heartache and friendships, unbelievable opporutnities and challenges that at times felt impossible to overcome (they weren’t). Not to mention all the haircuts and dye jobs. So yeah, ten years sounds about right.

Notebooks
It has taken a lot of notebooks to get to this point.

But to be honest, this summer marks another ten-year anniversary that for me feels more significant. On June 4, 2008, I started my first blog and began my journey as a writer. It was one of those experiences that may have held little significance to an outsider (my blog was by no means super popular, and that’s okay!), but on the inside, it felt revolutionary. After spending so much of my tween and teen years feeling unsure or unfond of myself, I’d found my voice and a way to share it. I was ecstatic in the knowledge that I knew what I wanted my life to be for. What I felt that summer seemed to be made of the same magic of falling in love.

And man, what a wild ride it’s been. I’ve gotten to do so many cool things! I’ve interviewed amazing girls and shared their stories. I’ve provided advice in real time to tween magazine readers. I’ve published articles on subjects I’m passionate about for websites I love, and connected with some of my favorite authors along the way. In addition to all that, I’ve realized how happy writing makes me. And happiness is something I don’t take for granted anymore.

I’m so excited to be starting this next decade and chapter. My dream of publishing a book—the one I wish I had on my shelf ten or so years ago—is approaching reality. I can’t wait to share the journey with you, too. I have a feeling this next adventure is going to be one for the books.

xoxo

Marie

GP Reads—How to Be a Bawse by Lilly Singh

Hello Internet friends, and happy 2018!How to Be a Bawse

I don’t know about where you live, but here in Lincoln, Nebraska it’s been really cold lately. The temperature right now is 49°F, and that feels like summer compared to how it’s been! The good news, though, is winter provides the perfect opportunity to do one of my favorite things: get under a blanket, snuggle up with my cat, and read.

One of my most recent picks was—you guessed it!—How to Be a Bawse: A Guide to Surviving Conquering Life by Lilly Singh, who rose to fame through her YouTube channel, IISuperwomanII. In the past few years, I’ve noticed an explosion of books by YouTubers on the bookstore shelves, and to be honest, at first I was a little skeptical. But after I got hooked on Lilly’s videos sometime late last year—in addition to being hilarious, she’s positive, empowering, and wonderfully honest—I decided to give her book a go. Besides, who doesn’t want a few more strategies for conquering life?

I’m really glad I did. Each chapter of the book addresses a different lesson Lilly has learned on her journey about achieving goals, from “Get Uncomfortable” to “Let Go of FOMO” to “Be Santa” (you’ll have to read to find out what that means!). What I appreciated most is that Lilly is really specific, both in how each strategy has worked in her life (which often includes a cool story, such as meeting Selena Gomez) and how it can apply to yours. While Lilly’s success has come through being an entertainer and entrepreneur, I honestly think her advice can apply no matter what goals you’re working towards. Additionally, in four sections of the book, Lilly opens up about her experience with depression, and contrasts that time in her life with what it’s like now that she’s overcome it. I am hopeful that her openness will inspire those who are struggling to know it is possible to overcome dark times, and to seek the help they need.

For more positivity, inspiration, and laughs, check out Lilly’s YouTube channel (if you haven’t yet!):

Note: Common Sense Media recommends this book for readers 15 and older.  There are some mentions of adult drug and alcohol use, as well as abbreviations of bad words. 

xoxo

Marie

P. S. If you have book recommendations for other GP readers, please leave them in the comments below!

Writing for Girls’ Life: The “Get Inspired” Series

Happy holidays, my Internet friends!

Something I am grateful for this year is that I had the opportunity to create a series of articles for the “Get Inspired” section of Girls’ Life‘s website. I interviewed three girls who were State or National Honorees at the Prudential Spirit of Community Awards, a program that recognizes kids and teens for their outstanding community service. Riley Callen is a high school freshman who holds hike-a-thons to raise money and awareness for benign tumor research. Lorelei McIntyre-Brewer is a seventh grader who developed a kid-sized compression heart pillow that she sends to kids all over the world.  Gable Sloan, who is pictured below, is a seventh grader whose bakery has generated thousands of dollars for charity, in addition to funding an annual scholarship. Girls' Life Gable Sloan (2).pngI have worked with and written for Girls’ Life over the past seven years, and I’ve had some really awesome experiences along the way. In 2010, I began as a Blog Moderator for their website, where I not only approved comments but answered advice questions from readers in real-time. As you may imagine, it was really challenging at times—some of their questions warranted a more thorough conversation than we could have in the comments section!—but I was so grateful to get to listen to them, learn from them, and help out where I could. When I became an Online Contributing Writer the following year, I got to write about everything from how to host a “cupcake war” to bringing up tough topics with your parents. One of my favorite tasks though was interviewing awesome girls, including many who had given back in big ways like Riley, Lorelei, and Gable. (All of my Girls’ Life links are available here!)

I am genuinely grateful to get to help share these girls’ stories, because I think it’s incredibly valuable for them to be heard. Whether you’re a kid or an adult, it’s easy to be overwhelmed by what’s going on in the world and wonder what your place in it is. We all have so much power—power to create, power to help others, power to change the world—and sometimes, hearing someone else’s story can inspire us to begin writing our own. In my recent article on BuzzFeed, I mentioned that Deborah Reber’s book In Their Shoes changed my life for the better, and I really meant that. I read that book when I was 16 years old and starting to think about life after high school. After reading the profile on Jess Weiner, who described herself as an “Actionist,” or someone who uses their voice, their career, and their actions to make the world better,  it was like everything clicked into place. I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to write and create things for girls that would help them navigate the wild ride that is growing up and becoming who you want to be. Granted, the road hasn’t always been smooth, but having that guiding goal has helped me make decisions along the way that could have been a lot more difficult. I am so grateful for Jess, and for Deborah, and for the girls who have let me share their stories in hopes that we can send light and inspiration to someone who needs it.

If you haven’t yet checked out the articles about Riley, Lorelei, and Gable, please do so! Also, if there is someone whose story inspired you in some way, please feel free to tell us about it in the comments below. You never know who you could help inspire.

xoxo

Marie

5 Ways You Can Help Your World

What do I expect from myself now? That thought popped into my head in recent months, while reflecting upon what’s been happening politically in our country (and around the world). I have been staying more informed than ever before, and with that has come a desire to do more. To use my knowledge, voice, and time to make a positive impact. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has been feeling this way.

In response to my initial question, I decided to put together a list of possible actions I could take—and share them with you. This list is by no means 100% comprehensive, and I would love to hear any additions you have in the comments below. I kept in mind and noted any limitations there may be in regards to age. Another bonus: for some of these, you don’t have to stray far from right where you are: the Internet. With that, let’s jump in!

Stay Informed. First and foremost, it’s important to understand what’s going on. A great starting place is theSkimm, a free daily (Monday through Friday) email newsletter that quickly (and sassily) summarizes the day’s top headlines and provides links for further reading. When you’re starting a new habit, such as regularly reading the news, it makes sense to make it as easy on yourself as possible. Email newsletters—particularly theSkimm—make staying informed really easy, by bringing all of your reading to one place.

Teen Vogue has rightfully been commended for their insightful political and cultural coverage, which is available for free on their website. They also have a—wait for it!—free email newsletter, which includes links to political and social writings as well as fashion inspiration and celebrity updates. A pretty good combo, if you ask me.

Another great resource is The New York Times, particularly if there is a topic you want to explore in depth. The one limitation is that you are only allowed to read 10 articles per month for free on their website. However, if you find you really like their articles and want to read more, they do offer digital subscriptions, including one for students that gives you unlimited access to their web articles for $1/week.

What’s missing from this list is local news. It’s just as important to know what’s going on in your state and city/town. More and more local newspapers are offering online content, and a quick Google search will let you know if they have websites or social media accounts. They might even have an e-newsletter!

Speak Up. Once you’ve begun to make sense of what’s going on, it’s important to make your voice heard. There are a number of ways to do this, from signing an online petition to sharing your thoughts on social media, but perhaps the most important right now is to contact the people who represent you in government. You can do this even if you can’t vote yet! It is especially valuable to do so when those representatives are about to vote on a bill that could become a law. For example, it’s my understanding that one of the reasons the original version of the American Health Care Act was withdrawn was the large number of calls representatives received from people who opposed the bill.

I have always been at least a little shy, so the idea of reaching out to my representatives has always been a little intimidating. For me, planning ahead can help reduce nerves, so I scoured some of my favorite websites for resources and advice. This really helpful article from Teen Vogue“Congresswoman Katherine Clark Explains How You Can Resist the Trump Administration”—introduced me to a cool website called Countable. Countable gives you clear, easy-to-read summaries of bills that our national representatives (members of the Senate and House of Representatives) will vote on. The site also gives you the chance to send your opinion to them, starting with a simple click of “Yea” or “Nay.” If you want to use the site for contacting your representatives, you do need to create an account. You must be 13 or older to do so, and the site does ask for your address (your representatives keep tallies of responses they get from people in their district, and your address confirms that you live in their district). So, it would be best to check in first with a parent/guardian before creating a Countable account, if you are not an adult yet!

If you are feeling so bold, I would recommend giving your reps an actual phone call. From what I’ve read—including the above Teen Vogue article—phone calls are the most effective method. Personally, the whole talking-on-the-phone thing is what really makes me nervous. On that note, this article from Refinery29“Calling Congress is Easier Than You Think—Here’s How to Do It”—is really useful. It includes a sample script that you can change to suit your needs and use when you call. One final tip from a friend of mine for those who are particularly anxious about making a phone call: you can always call after hours (in the evenings or on weekends) and just leave a voicemail.

Countable keeps you updated on national issues and who to contact for those, but doesn’t address local ones. Your best bet is to keep an eye on your local news (see above). If you hear about a state-level issue you want to speak up on, I found that in most cases, typing “[your state] government” in Google will lead to a website with a “find your representatives” tab. A similar approach would likely work for city/town issues, though their websites may be less sophisticated. When in doubt, ask your social studies teacher (or another informed individual)!

Sparkle Heart.jpg

Donate. Another option, if you have money to give and wish to do so, is to donate to an organization that supports a cause you care about. Your best bet, if you know of a local organization that is doing work you admire, be it an animal shelter or a mentoring program, is to donate directly to them. They likely have a website with an easy option for donating, or you can give in person.

If you want to give but don’t yet have an organization in mind, I recommend checking out Charity Navigator. The purpose of the site is to evaluate charities based on how they use their money so people can be informed donors. Browsing the site, I found that smaller, local organizations (including a few in my city that I searched for) were not evaluated because they were simply too small. But if you have no idea where to give, Charity Navigator has Top Ten Lists, including “Charities with Perfect Scores” that are divided up by category, including Animals, Education, and Environment. If there is a cause you want to donate to, you’ll certainly find a worthy organization!

Volunteer. Almost six years ago, I signed up for Big Brothers Big Sisters, and I still count it as one of the best decisions I ever made. It is cheesy but oh-so-true that you grow when you give. If you wish to donate your time, there are certainly organizations and causes that could use your skills and compassion.

Doing some research online, I found that, unfortunately, if you are under 18, your options will be more limited. Your best bet, if you know of a local organization you’d like to volunteer for, is to go to their website to see what volunteer opportunities they offer. If they state that they do not offer volunteer opportunities to individuals under 18, I don’t think it would hurt to call and ask about the possibility of volunteering alongside an adult who could accompany you.

While down the Internet rabbit hole, I ended up on DoSomething.org. The site has a variety of “campaigns,” or activities both big and small that support a variety of causes. For example, one on the home page that caught my attention was to create a cute recycling box to remind you to recycle your empty beauty product containers. If you create a DoSomething.org account, complete the campaign, and upload a photo of you doing so, you have the opportunity to win “scholarships and swag.” To create an account, you do need to provide an email address or phone number, and again, to win prizes you do need to upload a photo of yourself, so do check in with a parent/guardian before doing so.

Start Something. This one is entirely open-ended and up to you, but I would feel remiss if I didn’t include it. If you see an issue in your community or world and you have an idea about how you could be part of the solution, with determination, research, and hard work, the sky is the limit as far as what you can accomplish. I believe this with all of my heart and mind, in part because, when I was an Online Contributing Writer for Girls’ Life, I spent a lot of time doing interviews with girls who were being recognized by the Prudential Spirit of Community Awards for their outstanding community service projects. There was a 13-year-old who created a program to collect wasted cooking oil to be reconverted and used to heat the homes of those in need. An 18-year-old who had founded a program that helps schools include students with disabilities on their cheerleading squads. And a 16-year-old who had raised over $500,000 to help orphaned children across the world.

Every single step we take forward, whether it’s a phone call or a dollar donated or an hour volunteered, does matter. It does, and I don’t want you to every doubt yourself on that. I also want you to know that if you have a big dream or goal as to what you want to do for your world—our world—you absolutely can make it happen. I have faith in you.

xoxo

Marie

5 Quotes to Inspire You to Pursue Your Dreams

Hello internet friends,

For me, having dreams I’m actively pursuing is a very important part of my life—when I’m feeling happy. Really, it’s a chicken-and-egg situation. When I’m happy, I have the energy and confidence to work towards my goals. Conversely, seeing my dreams come to life, little by little, makes me happy. Unfortunately, when I’m feeling down, some of the things I most need to do, like setting some goals and making baby steps towards achieving them, feel incredibly difficult.

Unsplash Tulip 1
Photo by Aaron Burden

Take writing, for example. Since I was a teenager, it’s been a dream of mine to build a career and a platform around writing things that are fun and entertainingbut also positive and helpful. A few times since I began pursuing this dream—including last summer—I have gone through a rough patch where writing fell to the wayside. Even though I’ve wanted to get back into it, full-force, actually doing so has been really, really difficult. Because I can come up with a million excuses. I’ll look at writing through the gray haze surrounding everything in life, and think, I don’t even want that dream enough anymore, anyway.  Or I’ll tell myself that other people already are/will be writing similar things, but they’ll probably do them better. Or I’ll think of mistakes I’ve made in the past, and use them as proof that I’m really not the person to be doing this. Or, frankly, what happens more often than not lately is I’m just tired. I get exhausted from feeling down and just getting through the things I feel obligated to do. On top of that, my writing brain feels really out-of-shape, so frankly, the effort it I perceive it would take to get back into a writing routine seems incredibly unappealing.

In spite of all that, I have decided to really, fully begin. Because I’ve finally wedged a teeny, tiny crack in the door of my old self who had dreams she believed in. So I’m busting through. And if you have dreams you’re hesitating to go for, I want you to feel inspired to go all-in as well. But don’t just take my word for it; below, you’ll find 5 fab quotes from 5 ladies to inspire you to pursue your own dreams:

“There is usually one small step we can take in the direction of a dream. When we do, the universe often takes several more.” – Julia Cameron 

“Dreams come a size too big so we can grow into them.” – Josie Bissett

“It’s a good thing to feel like you have something to prove.” – Lauren Conrad

“Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another stepping
stone to greatness.” – Oprah

“Don’t ever doubt yourselves or waste a second of your life. It’s too short, and you’re too special.” – Ariana Grande

xoxo

Marie